[A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a man named Thoreau in a
book called WALDEN ("Where I Lived, and What I Lived For") gave us the
following piece of sterling advice:
Our life is frittered away by detail. An honest man has hardly
need to count more than his ten fingers, or in extreme cases
he may add his ten toes, and lump the rest. Simplicity, simplicity,
simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and
not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half
a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb-nail. In the
midst of this chopping sea of civilized life, such are the
clouds and storms and quicksands and thousand-and-one items
to be allowed for, that a man has to live, if he would not
founder and go to the bottom and not make his port at all,
by dead reckoning, and he must be a great calculator indeed
who succeeds. Simplify, simplify.
By 2001, though, Thoreau has gone out of date. Out with the old, in with
the new. Are we not men?]
* * * * *
It's a brief moment in the film. Scientist Floyd has to go to the
bathroom in space. But when he gets to the bathroom, he finds he first
has to read some very detailed instructions. Oh dear! He tries to read
them, but the print is very fine. We, the audience, can't make it out.
Typical Kubrick. What other director would invest so much effort in
writing instructions that the audience cannot even read?
Like much in Kubrick, there is more here than initially meets the eye:
-- Failing to heed Thoreau's dictum to "simplify, simplify" can
lead to a very messy situation. Can we handle the complexity
we can create?
-- In 2001, waste comes back to you, fast. Instant "karma."
-- A sign that every detail is significant, even the "jokes,"
and even those jokes inaccessible to you!
A close analysis of these instructions rewards the reader looking for
subtle humor:
-- Try to figure out what systems "A" and "B" refer to.
-- To what is the "silver coloured ring" locking?
Here are the instructions:
ZERO GRAVITY TOILET
PASSENGERS ARE ADVISED TO
READ INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE USE
1
The toilet is of the standard zero-gravity type. Depending on
requirements, system A and/or system B can be used, details of which
are clearly marked in the toilet compartment. When operating system A,
depress lever and a plastic dalkron eliminator will be dispensed
through the slot immediately underneath. When you have fastened the
adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X" outlet hose.
Twist the silver coloured ring one inch below the connection point
until you feel it lock.
2
The toilet is now ready for use. The Sonovac cleanser is activated by
the small switch on the lip. When securing, twist the ring back to its
initial-condition, so that the two orange lines meet. Disconnect. Place
the dalkron eliminator in the vacuum receptacle to the rear. Activate
by pressing the blue button.
3
The controls for system B are located on the opposite wall. The red
release switch places the uroliminator into position; it can be
adjusted manually up or down by pressing the blue manual release
button. The opening is self adjusting. To secure after use, press the
green button which simultaneously activates the evaporator and returns
the uroliminator to its storage position.
4
You may leave the lavatory if the green exit light is on over the door.
If the red light is illuminated, one of the lavatory facilities is not
properly secured. Press the "Stewardess" call button to the right of
the door. She will secure all facilities from her control panel
outside. When green exit light goes on you may open the door and leave.
Please close door behind you.
5
To use the Sonoshower, first undress and place all your clothes in the
clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet
immediately below. Enter the shower. On the control panel to your upper
right upon entering you will see a "Shower seal" button. Press to
activate. A green light will then be illuminated immediately below. On
the intensity knob select the desired setting. Now depress the Sonovac
activation lever. Bathe normally.
6
The Sonovac will automatically go off after three minutes unless you
activate the "Manual off" over-ride switch by flipping it up. When you
are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button. The
door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and
place them in their container.
7
If the red light above this panel is on, the toilet is in use. When the
green light is illuminated you may enter. however, you must carefully
follow all instructions when using the facilities during coasting (Zero
G) flight. Inside there are three facilities: (1) the Sonowasher, (2)
the Sonoshower, (3) the toilet. All three are designed to be used under
weightless conditions. Please observe the sequence of operations for
each individual facility.
8
Two modes for Sonowashing your face and hands are available, the
"moist-towel" mode and the "Sonovac" ultrasonic cleaner mode. You may
select either mode by moving the appropriate lever to the "Activate"
position.
If you choose the "moist-towel" mode, depress the indicated yellow
button and withdraw item. When you have finished, discard the towel in
the vacuum dispenser, holding the indicated lever in an "active"
position until the green light goes on . . . showing that the rollers
have passed the towel completely into the dispenser. If you desire an
additional towel, press the yellow button and repeat the cycle.
9
If you prefer the "Sonovac" ultrasonic cleaning mode, press the
indicated blue button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings
A and B. For cleaning the hands, use in this position. Set the timer to
positions 10, 20, 30 or 40 . . . indicative of the number of seconds
required. The knob to the left, just below the blue light, has three
settings, low, medium or high. For normal use, the medium setting is
suggested.
10
After these settings have been made, you can activate the device by
switching to the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If,
during the washing operation, you wish to change the settings, place
the "manual off" override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now
make the change and repeat the cycle.
(Instructions from J.A., photo inset)
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